Inspired Spirit

It amazes me how much I manifest my life around me to match myself internally.

Take clutter. I have always been sort of unorganized. Actually, friends and family would say more than sort of! It drives me nuts! I have all these nests of papers, stacks of books, piles of clothes that need sorting and donating, an art room that is very full of old projects and more stacks of books and nests of papers.

Its interesting too, because clutter is another way of showing congestion, and I’m still having some sinus issues. I need to drain the congestion, clear the clutter, move the energy.

A soul can do all the spiritual work she wants, but at some point there has to be follow up in the third dimension. I’ve been doing a lot of deep internal work, energy clearing, and of course Soul Realignment. So the great news to all this is that even though I’m feeling uncomfortable, its actually a good sign that the work I’ve been doing is working. I guess you could call them growing pains. Its creating the impetus to move.

So many people seem to have the mindset that getting clearing work or healing done is a magic bullet. They’ll get it “fixed” and

it won’t bother them anymore, everything will be perfect. The reality is that once you start on this path of growth, you find the potholes and roots that are tripping you up. Until you address the physical reality you live in, nothing will really shift.

So I’m happy, even though I’m frustrated.

But talk about clutter!! I have all my art stuff, which I love and want to pursue. I have all my books, learning materials and stuff for my spirtual studies. These are both huge growth areas for me. I have become resentful of my day job because I’d rather be studying and painting. It’s a lot to juggle and I am annoyed with trying to make everything fit together.

It’s an energy drain! Look how well the clutter reflects my internal mindset right now. I have had a long career as a graphic designer, well over 16 successful years. To mentally let go of that old energy and move into a spiritual lightworker path and fine art has been surprisingly difficult. I am so attached to the old energy. I have fond memories of projects I enjoyed, a love of art, design and a book collection that reflects it as well as a studio space. My ego has become invested in it defining my identity. I have procrastinated because I can’t stand being in the  middle of it all, feeling its all black and white and I have to make a choice right now! Its symbolizes how my ego thinks I’m making a “wrong” choice and the duality I perceive. Yet, my Spirit says there is no duality, its only my perception.

Duality is so odd. I’m not sure why everything has to be all or nothing. Yet black or white mentality keeps cropping up, its the world we live in.  I’m not saying “goodbye” or quitting anything, because part of me will always be an artist. Yet, my ego resists the changes, so I walk around my house, tripping over stuff, bumping my funny bone, stubbing toes. But I’ve outgrown that energy and I need to move forward. I feel chafing, kind of like new shoes making a blister. Being in that career for so long has created a groove that is feeling more and more like a rut. The clutter in my home reflects all that old patterning I’m still hanging onto, even though I know the new things that I attract will feel wonderful and will give me new wings

Take some old clothes for example. I am typical of many women, my figure fluctuates from year to year. I have box of clothes 2 sizes too small because I keep wishing to get back into them. But is that the right notion to have? I had lost that weight while in a relationship that made me unhappy as an attempt to make myself into something else.  Its such an old paradigm of thought, that now its almost foreign, and I definitely wouldn’t go back to that time again. So why hang onto clothing that represents something I don’t want to manifest in my life anymore?

So my solution? I’m forcing myself to start bags for charity. Even those pretty skirts I long to get back into someday.  My desire is to move the energy forward and outward. Make room for new things, like painting, Soul Realignment, the new course I’m taking next month, the Reconnection. By creating movement, the energy won’t continue to sit and stagnate and some things will begin to happen. Plus, if I’m hanging onto all this stuff, what does that say about my attitude about abundance? There is no lack of skirts in the universe, if I need a new one, surely I can manifest another one, just as pretty that fits me now? I want to attract not just new energy and opportunities, but ABUNDANCE. (I could be a smartass and say that I attracted an abundance of clutter.)

When I need a new skirt, I can go buy a new one.